Keep meaning. Keep, keep meaning.

To blog more.  Mostly because I feel like all the below-the-surface, big-picture life stuff has little room to surface amid all the logistical enormities and bureaucratic/academic hoops that consume most of my time.  When I sit down and blog quietly to myself and the ~four people I've shared this with at random, I'll find sometimes I draw on things I don't get to sit with otherwise.

I had a strange revelation around Thanksgiving, when skimming through previous posts.

I'm 99% certain when I wrote this post, that when I spoke of striving for 'the good I ought to do' I bracketed these ambitions into the quotidian things like speaking kindly to the panhandler,  taking time out of my hurriedness to buy someone a meal, writing a card of encouragement to a coworker who was down, or just being more in-tune to the general, broader needs of friends, family and surrounding community.

Strangely enough -- it morphed into something much, much larger.  I really had no thought of this in the context of moving home and shifting into a new role as a caregiver.  (Also -- I pondered a whole other level of the 'strangeness' of the post when I realized I'd written it on my Mom's birthday.)

Anyway, since this blog began as a calibration tool for New Year's resolutions - I've been thinking about this new year, and reflecting on last.  There's a lot to say about last year while transitioning into this one, and I'm not sure how to speak of it without being sentimental and mawkish.  But I know that I need to try.

Everything personal feels all-consuming, and my vocational efforts in school seem relegated to the 'kid-playing in the dirt in the outfield' kind of role/part of my life.  I'd like to blend them more, as I know there's something missing in the interchange between the two.  I'd also like to elevate my experience with care-giving  and Alzheimer's more, as I know there are others out there that are also trying to cope and feel equally lost and isolated.  So, that'll be my starter for a 2013 goal.  A few more are still solidifying....